Monday, April 29, 2013

Adding Details (Ashley Rose)

Providing Details and Examples (Mariam Kushkaki)

Two types of details and specific examples you can provide to support your ideas:
1.      _______________Personal__________________
a.       Stories (relatives, friends, acquaintances)
b.      Experiences (your own)
c.       Descriptions (people, places, and events)

2.      _____________Outside Sources______________
a.       Facts/Statistics
b.      Descriptions (people, places, and events)

How can we be specific when providing personal examples? Look for places where you can add details that answer the 5 Ws:
                  Who: My brother Tom and I went to the store.
                  When: She went for a drive one winter night to clear her head.
                  What:  Peter woke up and looked out the window.
                  Where: Alex’s car broke down on the 5 freeway.
Why: I always check the locks on my windows before I leave because I live on the first floor and am afraid someone will break in.

Let’s practice writing specific examples and details:
1.      Imagine that you and your friend went out for dinner at a restaurant, and it was a good experience. Now, you’re writing a review on Yelp, and you give several reasons for why people should go to this restaurant. Support each of the reasons below with 2-3 sentences that have specific details (you may use the 5 Ws).

First reason: The restaurant looked very nice. (Support this with DESCRIPTIONS.)

Second reason: The service was wonderful. (Support this with YOUR EXPERIENCE.)

Third reason: The food always tastes delicious every time we come here. (Support this with a STORY.)

2.      Imagine that you work as a server in a restaurant, and somebody asks you to describe your job. You say you don’t really like your job, and you explain why. Support the following reasons with 2-3 sentences:
First reason: The customers are rude.

Second reason: My boss doesn’t treat the employees fairly.

Third reason: The hours I work are unreasonable.

Now, let’s write a sample paragraph using outside sources. Below is an excerpt from an article titled “What Rights Should Illegal Immigrants Have?” by David Bennion:
Many students graduate from U.S. high schools with undocumented status—that is, they are not legally permitted to reside in the United States. Many of them were brought to the United States as young children and have lived in America for most of their lives. Once they graduate from high school, there are few opportunities for them as they lack access to in-state college tuition or the legal ability to work. The Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act, or DREAM Act, would change this, offering undocumented youth the chance at legal resident status. These youths, or Dreamers, should be allowed to have the chance to stay in the country they call home.
Each year, about 65,000 undocumented students graduate from high school in the United States. They then face often insurmountable barriers to pursuing further education or employment opportunities. Many colleges and universities will not permit them to enroll. Even if they are admitted, most financial aid is not available to them. In most states, they will pay prohibitively expensive out-of-state tuition rates, regardless of how long they have lived in the state.

Using quotes from the article, write a paragraph that explains why the DREAM Act should be passed. Give two reasons to support your position. For each reason, give one personal example and one example from the article (use quotes). If you run out of time during the workshop, you can always complete the paragraph at home and then bring it back to the lab and have a tutor look it over.

Outlining (Julia Gefell)

Use this sample to create your own outline!